Joy and Lasting Change for 2024
My view on a morning stroll by the beach
As the clock turned past midnight on New Year’s Eve, I was surprised to discover how excited I was to start 2024. Out of all the anniversaries and holidays, there is something especially difficult for me about starting the year without my spouse, Rachel (they/them). When they passed away, I lost my soul mate, best friend, and my ‘partner in crime’ for all sorts of fun and scary adventures. In the 20 years we had together we figured out how to work well as a team to support each other in achieving our personal and professional dreams. Thus, for the past few years, entering the new year without them felt like walking off a cliff.
But not this time. Something shifted for me as the end of 2023 approached. Feelings of hope and joy overcame the heavy grief which had enveloped me these past couple of years. I celebrated New Year’s Eve at party thrown by the social club I joined to stay connected to the LGBTQIA+ community. As I looked around the room at the many friends I made, I was overcome with gratitude.
Moving into 2024 with positive energy, I was able to set some long-term goals. Getting back into shape was at the top of the list. Last spring, I sprained my ankle and was unable to walk for several months which led to weight gain and weakened muscles. My limited mobility left me feeling isolated as I had to cancel many of the activities I cherished such as daily morning walks, salsa dancing, museum visits with friends, and decreased play time with my young niece and nephew.
Elements of Success
As a doctor who helps people recover from often stubborn chronic conditions, I frequently ponder the question, what is the path to success when it comes to sustaining health goals? In my personal and clinical experience, four things stood out: goals, relationships, repetition and enjoyment. More than any procedure, pill or tincture I can offer, it’s the determination to keep going that is most critical in rebuilding health.
To use myself as an example, a personal routine that I’m especially proud of is starting my day with a brisk morning walk. This helped me stay generally fit and strong for many years and it all started by accident.
When Rachel and I lived in Seattle so I could attend medical school, we had a habit of driving to get a cup of coffee in the morning. This was a ritual we developed to combat feeling isolated and sedentary while working from home. Then one winter morning, what we thought was bad luck, turned out to be a wonderful new experiment. That day it snowed just enough to make it not safe for cars to drive up and down the hilly urban landscape, so we walked down the hill through the park in our snow boots to get that cup of coffee. One day turned into two, then three. We kept it going after the snow melted and maintained this daily morning walk routine for the next 15 years.
The reason it was sustainable was that it was fueled by the goals of being social and resist being sedentary. Although both of us liked the feel-good endorphins we got from working out, getting used to hiking up and down hill wasn’t fun at first. Our relationship kept us going. When one of us wasn’t in the mood, the other would be the catalyst for action. We repeated the activity over and over until it became a routine. As we felt physically better, we became more motivated.. The enjoyment of walking together, talking to each other and the baristas, being in nature and enjoying a cup of coffee made it easy to continue. This is a form of “temptation bundling” , a term coined by the behavior researcher Katherine Milkman, which means combining a source of instant gratification, e.g., cup of coffee, with an activity you need to do but don’t enjoy, in this case straining to walk up a hill. Lastly, starting the day with self-care gave us a sense of control of our day and pride for prioritizing our health. After a couple of months, we both lost weight, gained muscle strength and slept better.
Short Memory
My clinical work has taught me that bothersome issues are often forgotten, which can make one vulnerable to losing interest in working toward improving their health. Resolved hot flashes or debilitating stomach pains can seem like a distant memory after a few weeks. But working toward wellness and feeling good is a marathon, not a sprint. Ultimately, it’s the desire for a positive outcome beyond relieving symptoms and a feeling of self-control that sustains us in the process. Therefore, I challenge folks to ask themselves:
What is your ultimate goal for improving your health?
What activities will enable you to achieve it?
Is there something or someone who can help make the effort fun?
What tools (books, podcasts or videos) for self-compassion or affirmations can I use to gently motivate myself in restarting the routine if I drop off?
Evolving Motivations
For me, these days, it’s the ocean views and lovely folks I’ve met in the communities along the coast that get me moving first thing in the morning. Chatting over coffee with them is a delight. I’ve also discovered how much I love taking photographs and relish the opportunity to share shots of my beautiful surroundings with others. As I enter new adventures in 2024, I’ll work toward my fitness goals one step at a time, with confidence that I’ll reach them and relish the journey. And I hope the same success and joy in the journey for all of you.
If you’d like additional support to help you achieve your goals and address your specific health issues, contact me to schedule a free 20-minute consultation. If you enjoyed this post, please send me a message through my Contact page letting me know you’d like to be informed of future posts. Quick disclaimer — this information comes from my personal and clinical experience and should not be taken as medical advice. Please speak to your doctor before making any changes regarding your health.
A little about me, I have 15+ years of training and experience in naturopathic medicine. Since they are closely related, much of my work focuses on the intersection between hormonal, gut, brain, and immune health and the effect stress can have on these systems. I frequently help folks impacted by adrenal dysregulation (stress/burnout), irritable bowel syndrome, food intolerances, metabolic syndrome, perimenopause, and menopause.