Lotions and Potions — Halloween Edition

Happy Halloween to every witch, ghost, goblin, and fellow admirers celebrating today!

In honor of my late spouse, whose favorite American holiday was Halloween and always admired the ‘lotions and potions’ I used to heal others and myself, I’m launching a blog about my experience navigating through a devastating loss and major life transition using these natural medicine tools. It’ll be part love story, part health blog, and part personal experience dealing with grief. I’m choosing to talk about my grief in the hope that it will comfort those who’ve also lost dear ones during the pandemic and for whom trying to ‘return to normal’ feels odd, like trying to live in a version of reality that you don’t completely understand or want to be a part of without your loved one.

First, the love story. I could write thousands of pages on how wonderful my spouse (they/them) was, but this time I will focus on the topic at hand — Halloween. Our perspectives on this holiday couldn’t have been more different, and over time, my change in attitude about it also changed my life in a profound way.

My spouse grew up in England outside an American Airforce base where the expats decorated their houses and encouraged local kids to trick-or-treat. Thus, the love for Halloween was born. Costumes were created and lots of candy enjoyed. Ever the talented and serious professional, when they moved to the US, this love emigrated with them.

On the other hand, I’m usually a very serious person, and I used to scoff at the idea of dressing up and pretending to be someone else. As an immigrant kid from a country without many local expats, I often felt like I didn’t belong, and life was too difficult not to be taken seriously. So, when the opportunity came to draw attention to myself and show off my creativity, I was not thrilled. My sister however, pranced around the neighborhood, collecting loads of candy while I sulked and brooded.

Several years later, I met my amazing spouse — tall and gorgeous with a beautiful accent. As my spouse got to know my sister, they bonded over their love of this holiday. Although I loved that they had something in common, I knew my days were numbered — I’d have to join the festivities or be seen as the scrooge who didn’t want to participate. Not wanting to be left out, I took risks with costume selection, attended parties, and tried the ‘fake it until you make it’ approach to being silly.

After a few years of effort and encouragement from my spouse and my sister, I finally see the magic in this celebration. It’s with immense gratitude that I look back now and realize that this infusion of playfulness has enriched my life in so many ways. 

Working in healthcare, it’s easy to take yourself and your work way too seriously. Yes, the work can be challenging, and great care must be taken to keep people safe, but the healing journey is a winding one, with fits and starts. To navigate it gracefully, it helps if both the doctor and the patient maintain a good sense of humor and lightness, adapting as they travel along the oftentimes bumpy road to health. It also requires creativity and an element of fun if diet and lifestyle changes are to be sustainable. These are the lessons I’ve learned from my incredible spouse and sweet sister — fun is a key ingredient to the enjoyment of life, not a distraction. As I walk around the neighborhood in my costume tonight, I know my late spouse will be with me, whispering silly jokes in my ear. Maybe, if I’m lucky enough, they’ll even come back to haunt me ;-)

Thanks for reading. Over the next few posts, I’ll delve more into the nitty-gritty of the effect of stress and grief on the body as well as the healing strategies I’ve found to be most effective.

A little about me - I have 15+ years of training and experience in naturopathic medicine. Since they are closely related, much of my work focuses on the intersection between hormonal, gut, brain, and immune health and the effect stress can have on these systems. I frequently help folks impacted by adrenal dysregulation (stress/burnout), irritable bowel syndrome, food intolerances, perimenopause, and menopause.

If you like this piece, please send me a message through my Contact page with your email. I can put you on the list to be informed of future posts and events. A quick disclaimer — this information comes from my personal experience and should not be taken as medical advice. Please speak to your doctor before making any changes regarding your health.